tricky leppard blushing to hell and back

Tricky Woo
"First Blush"
Last Gang Records, 2005

The Darkness
"One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back"
Atlantic Records, 2005

Def Leppard
"Rock 'Til You Drop"
bootleg, 1983


It's the year 1900 and 99 or so, and I'm a wee tot in college. A freshman or some such shit. I was getting deep into the denim dudes of Turbonegro and needed more, more, more from that food group. I was rock-starved. Pop-punk had lost its appeal and felt quite ballless. A Canuck on the Screeching Weasel board and the advent of Napster introduced me to this band called "Tricky Woo," which seemed like a way fuckin' stupid name. It still sorta is. But man, were the songs I'd found fantastic! I heard some records and they were cool, but I never found them in this distant land to theirs. And after "Les Sables Magiques" was totally flat and terrible and un-rocking, I'd given up on them.

Fast forward to present. Band resurfaces and releases a record MORE ROCKING than "Sometimes I Cry." As the display on my phone reads, "dude, WTF?" What you got is this: heavy groove, psychedelic imagery, hippie innuendo, and total KISS meets Priest rock slabbage. We call it Hard Rock. Vocals touch on Steven Tyler and David Lee Roth territory. The guitar solos are way, way over-the-top and soaring. "Mistress of the Mountain" may be the jam to end all jams.

And we thought it all but dead.

Lots of bands had started bringing back the '70s staple that fell to the background behind punk, '80s metal, and other "guitar-oriented" rock (dude, WTF? Grunge?!). But they were getting lumped in elsewhere - and for good reason, as many had outside influences that made lumping them into other categories easier - Gluecifer, The Datsuns, etc. But The Darkness, now when they came out, there was no denying their "hard rock-ness."

"Permission To Land" brought lots of bonafied hard rock influences into a new hard rock package - sounds of Queen, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Def Leppard. Yep. It rocked serious ass, in a tongue-in-cheek fashion. Irony? No. But the band certainly wasn't stupid.

Now "One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back" drops and boy, what changed? The record lacks all the things I loved about the last one. There's way, way, waaaaay too much emphasis on the power balladry, and not enough attention paid to kicking eardrums in. "One Way Ticket" is a classic tune about cocaine, and "Knockers" is pretty good, too. But shit like "English Country Garden" has gotta stop. The record is weak, weak, weak in the overall. Not really worthy of repeated spins unlike the first one. So if anyone wondered how long the novelty of the Darkness would last, the answer is: one album. And maybe an EP.

Arguably, the band took the worst parts of one of the late '70s/early '80s best hard rock acts, Def Leppard. In cranking up "High And Dry," "Pyromania," and especially "Rock 'Til You Drop" - a bootleg of an LA arena show from 1983 - it's pretty damn easy to see the things that made the Leppard extremely popular. Amazing hooks, but driving rock songs that you could pump your fist to. Good guitar, and Joe Elliott could shred his throat with the best of 'em. Unfortunately, the Darkness saw fit to borrow liberally from "Hysteria," the steaming pile that made dudes scratch their heads and 13-year-old girls cream their panties thinking about the hot English rockers. Well, except that one-armed drummer...what a creep!

With "Rock 'Til You Drop," you get a soundboard show of Leppard in its absolute ripping prime. All the best songs from the first three records, a crowd going apeshit, and total schlock-y arena rocker stage banter. Cheesy, for certain, but the band hits on so many highs that the cheese is almost cool. A must-listen for any fan of hard rock music, from a band that is unfortunately too often remembered for the bad rather than the good. In 1983, you couldn't fuck with that band, and you still can't touch those records.

Bottom line: Tricky Woo is the new wave of hard rock, and the Darkness probably never was. Avoid that new record like AIDS. And if you don't know and need an education, pick up the Def Leppard records up to "Pyromania" and have your head twisted a little bit. YEAH, they really were THAT DAMN GOOD.

-Mike

www.trickywoo.org
www.thedarknessrock.com
www.defleppard.com

New York City cocks, don't they really suck? Oh, I meant 'cops.'

The Strokes
First Impressions of Earth
RCA, 2006

If you asked the Strokes what they sound like, they might be too bored or cool to tell you. But I'm not. One of the bands to "save rock" in the early 2000s, the Strokes were the great white hope for rich, pretentious hipper-than-thou caucasion kids everywhere. At least that year. And frankly, they weren't bad and still aren't.

But lemme tell ya what. I've read Velvet Underground comparisons, and while apt, I don't think you'll ever catch Julian Casablancas singing songs about heroin or black girls. Maybe you will, but being so immersed in hipster pussy and the art scene (I mean, probably, right?), I'd say that the odds of him ever being that direct and seedy are unlikely. Instead, you'll hear him singing lines of faux-poetry or lines about parties, where he presumably dives right into those waifish modelesque ladies. Unless he's into dudes.

What you really need to know about the Strokes is this: they are the U2 for the kids who are too cool for U2. Casablancas' voice sounds like Bono's probably would after a couple bottles of cheap wine. But ya know, that's not such a bad thing. They may be pretentious, but the songs stand on their own enough to cut through a lot of it. There are melodies, and the guitar work is smokin' hot on this one. That dude with the Jew-fro probably doesn't get as much tail, and so he practices...and it shows! Dude pulls out some major fireworks in comparison to prior efforts. The whole band sounds a little tighter and a little looser as a unit.

Admittedly I've only listened to half, but I don't think the album warrants 14 cuts anyway. Thanks, but I'm cool with 10 or 12, a half hour and change. For those who already like 'em, this will be a nice addition, I'm sure. For those who don't, well...skip it. I suppose it's worth some spinnage, but I'm not hearing the hits yet. The Strokes are a "grower" band, though, so maybe...ah, fuck it. I'll probably just listen to Early Man again.

Bottom line: The Strokes rock OK.

-Mike

www.thestrokes.com

the undisputed kings of an infinite amount of nothing

J Church
"The Drama Of Alienation"
Honest Don's, 1996

Nearly a decade after it was released, Sunday evening seemed like as good a time as any to return to my favorite J Church record. Maybe I heard some J Church song last night at Punk Rock Night or just drunkenly remembered a stanza, but something jogged the ol' memory. Why not, right? The pop-punk band (then from the Bay Area, now of Austin) was one of my favorites when I was a wee lad of less extensive brilliance back in, uh, high school.

"The Drama Of Alienation" doesn't really sound particularly contemporary, though I sorta wish it did. Because the "pop-punk" scene has made such a tragic shift that, while a few "true believers" still hang on, its definition has mostly changed to post-hardcore dudes with part screaming, part sung vocals or they sound like Saves The Day facimiles. Either way, it pretty much sucks and what was at one point huge - remember when Green Day wasn't a total Arena Rock entity? - has all but vanished from the mainstream and is buried in the way underground. Don't tell Jimmy Dastardly that, though. Some of us still fucking remember, right?

Well, anyway, this record still sounds pretty good and rocks OK. "Undisputed King Of Nothing" totally rules and could still be my theme song (or it feels like it at times). "Smell It Rot" rocks. "You're On Your Own" takes a slightly heavier riff and punks it out to satisfying degrees. For those who need an aural comparison, J Church fall into the Jawbreaker/MTX canon. Solid lyrically for sure. And they also hit on a lot of Pixies/Nirvana territory...and if you don't like that, you're a mo-ron. Or at least you are from this guy's perspective...ya know, this guy? The one with two thumbs that loves blowjobs. Yeah, this guy.

Old tunes to start the new year. Look for a review of the new Witchcraft forthcoming, as well as some other tricks and treats.

Bottom line: I bet you could buy this record used for pretty cheap these days. Might not be a bad idea if you like pop-punk and don't own it.

-Mike

www.j-church.com